iThink.

so you know about my dreams of a real camera, not this tiny digita one i have. And you know that I like to pursue photography as a creative hobby, but the only problem is that every single camera that i would like is over a thousand dollars, and mother says 300 max. there were a few nice olympuses and kodaks but theyre not what i really dream of.

i dream of a nikon.

i saw one, and only one camera that i want, and that is a $599 nikon digital SLR camera. With adjustable lenses and all that jazz. you don't understand how mych i want that. i want it so bad. so bad. i want to feel its cool weight in my hands, and peek through the viewfinder and see... see the world. because god knows how life would look if you werent seeing it through a lens.

i am such a fucker. i rushed in to the decision of buying a nice supercompact camera with a nice big screen and forgot that i want to be able to take pictures as an art. i want a real camera, one that makes me smile, one that i can focus manually and adjust lenses and take pictures like in the old days, except with a 2.5 LCD. i want to feel my pictures, not just take them. i want to face the camera out, not in. i want to take a portrait of my mother, with shadow dancing on her face and my father, in black and white, but making up for the lack of color.

i want to show the world like you've never seen.

i love taking pictures outside because sunlight dances on everything.

i ma not know a lot about the technical jargon, but i sure love taking photographs. i remember when i was little, and i would stare at photographs hours on end, just studying the sunlight and how things look in the backround, and i want to SMILE, really SMILE when i look at the pictures i take.

ill keep updating on the nikon baby; maybe tomorrow will be the best day of my life..

it's late. late and raining. if i were the princess of a magical fairy castle off somewhere i would love it when i rained. i would curl up by the window and write and write and take pictures and capture the moment forever before it slips away, out of reach. but, sadly, i am not the princedd of a far-away kingdom, but a socially outcast teenager living in the non-sunny, non-beach, non-interesting part of florida. not that i hate it here, but i think i have the uncontrollable urge to move to arizona. someplace far off with deserts where it doesn't rain. no rain for me. just some white dress, all soiled up and a camera. not the small digital kind like i actually have, but a big, clunky, black camera that shoots on film and has an adjustable zoom lens and all that stuff. and if i grew my hair long, i could run around the desert with my hair streaming all behind me and i'd be happy, really truly happy. i think that i've reverted back to the old ten year old me, with the overactive imagination. i live in my own world, full of beautiful landscapes and happiness and zoom lenses. i think i like living in my own world better than here. i could just close my eyes and feel the hot red desert sand beating into my ankles and heels, as i run free.

really free.